Some of my favorite quotes...

1. To argue with an idiot only proves there are two.
2. The difficulties of life are intended to make us better, not bitter.
3. The best place to look for a helping hand is at the end of your own arm.
4. A man sees in the world that which he carries in his heart.
5. No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.
6. You can tell more about a person by what he says about others than you can by what others say about him.
7. A smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.
8. We should never permit ourselves to do anything that we are not willing to see our children do.
9. Integrity is doing the thing you said you would do long after the mood you said it in has past.
10. He that is good at making excuses is seldom good for anything else.
11. No one has ever excused himself to success.
12. Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood.
13. Don't take life too seriously, it's not like your going to get out of it alive.
14. Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.
15. Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.
16. We have no right to ask when sorrow comes, "Why did this happen to me?" unless we ask the same question for every moment of happiness that comes our way.
17. Turn your wounds into wisdom.
18. Things are never so bad they can't be made worse.
19. Adversity introduces a man to himself.
20. What a pity human beings can't exchange problems. Everyone knows exactly how to solve the other fellow's.
21. Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't.
22. Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
23. An apology is a great way to have the last word.
24. He who angers you conquers you.
25. Resentment is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.
26. You have the right to be angry, you have no right to be cruel.
27. Attitudes are contagious. Are yours worth catching?
28. If you don't think every day is a good day, just try missing one.
29. It's not what they call you that matters, it's what you answer to.
30. To be wronged is nothing unless you continue to remember it.
31. Failure is the condiment that gives success its flavor.
    
32. How can something bother you if you won't let it?
    
33. If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You have another chance.
    
34. It is not necessary to change. Survival is not mandatory.
    
35. We worry about what a child will become tomorrow, yet we forget that he is someone today.
36. Children are the living messages we send to a time we will not see.
37. Every child comes with the message that God is not yet discouraged of man.
    
38. In the United States today, there is a pervasive tendency to treat children as adults, and adults as children. The options of children are thus steadily expanded, while those of adults are progressively constricted. The result is unruly children and childish adults.
    
39. Children seldom misquote. In fact, they usually repeat word for word what you shouldn't have said.
40. If you have time to whine and complain about something then you have the time to do something about it.
    
41. It took me a long time not to judge myself through someone else's eyes.
42. A successful person is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks that others throw at him or her.
43. If you really put a small value upon yourself, rest assured that the world will not raise your price.
    
44. Confidence comes not from always being right but from not fearing to be wrong.
45. The way you treat yourself sets the standard for others.
    
46. Only as high as I reach can I grow, Only as far as I seek can I go, Only as deep as I look can I see, Only as much as I dream can I be.
47. Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear.
48. I have no special talents. I am only passionately curious.
49. A cynic knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.
50. There are plenty of ways to get ahead. The first is so basic I'm almost embarrassed to say it: spend less than you earn.
    
51. Diplomacy: The art of saying "nice doggie" until you can find a rock.
52. Diplomacy is the art of letting someone else have your way.
    
53. Education would be much more effective if its purpose was to ensure that by the time they leave school every boy and girl should know how much they do not know, and be imbued with a lifelong desire to know it.
54. The difference between try and triumph is a little umph.
55. God gave us two ends - one to sit on and one to think with. Success depends on which one you use. Head you win, tail you lose.
    
56. Nothing is a waste of time if you use the experience wisely.
    
57. Failure is only the opportunity to begin again more intelligently.
58. The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.
    
59. Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars.
60. Every evening I turn my worries over to God. He's going to be up all night anyway.
61. What we are is God's gift to us. What we become is our gift to God.
62. You can tell the size of your God by looking at the size of your worry list. The longer your list, the smaller your God.
63. How idle it is to call certain things God-sends! As if there was anything else in the world.
    
64. Some people talk about finding God - as if He could get lost.
    
65. He who kneels before God can stand before anyone.
66. If you are not as close to God as you used to be, who moved?
    
67. What you don't see with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth.
    
68. Whoever gossips to you will gossip about you.
    
69. Do not repeat anything you will not sign your name to.
70. If a fellow isn't thankful for what he's got, he isn't likely to be thankful for what he's going to get.
71. The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance; the wise grows it under his feet.
72. I will permit no man to narrow and degrade my soul by making me hate him.
73. Who lies for you will lie against you.
74. There's one way to find out if a man is honest - ask him. If he says, "Yes," you know he is a crook.
75. I am different from Washington; I have a higher, grander standard of principle. Washington could not lie. I can lie, but I won't.
76. Housework is something you do that nobody notices until you don't do it.
77. If you wish to forget anything on the spot, make a note that this thing is to be remembered.
78. The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
79. My dog is usually pleased with what I do, because she is not infected with the concept of what I "should" be doing.
80. A man wrapped up in himself makes a very small bundle.
81. It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help.
82. Talking much about oneself can also be a means to conceal oneself.
    
83. Modesty: The art of encouraging people to find out for themselves how wonderful you are.
    
84. The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
85. One should examine oneself for a very long time before thinking of condemning others.
86. The greatest way to live with honor in this world is to be what we pretend to be.
87. Nobody really cares if you're miserable, so you might as well be happy.
    
88. The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance; the wise grows it under his feet.
89. Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.
90. To be happy, we must not be too concerned with others.
    
91. Some pursue happiness, others create it.
92. You need to learn to be happy by nature, because you'll seldom have the chance to be happy by circumstance.
93. We are all inclined to judge ourselves by our ideals; others, by their acts.
    
94. Light travels faster than sound. That's why most people seem bright until you hear them speak.
95. If you have integrity, nothing else matters. If you don't have integrity, nothing else matters.
96. You can easily judge the character of a man by how he treats those who can do nothing for him.
97. It's discouraging to think how many people are shocked by honesty and how few by deceit.
98. To speak ill of others is a dishonest way of praising ourselves.
99. We should not only use the brains we have, but all that we can borrow.
    
100. Envy is the art of counting the other fellow's blessings instead of your own.
     
101. Whoever envies another confesses his superiority.
102. Never look down on anybody unless you're helping him up.
     
103. Treat everyone with politeness, even those who are rude to you - not because they are nice, but because you are.
     
104. A fellow who does things that count, doesn't usually stop to count them.
105. Don't wait for people to be friendly, show them how.
     
106. The kindest word in all the world is the unkind word, unsaid.
107. We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak.
     
108. Real knowledge is to know the extent of one's ignorance.
109. How can a society that exists on instant mashed potatoes, packaged cake mixes, frozen dinners, and instant cameras teach patience to its young?
     
110. Leaders don't create followers, they create more leaders.
111. I am learning all the time. The tombstone will be my diploma.
     
112. I have never in my life learned anything from any man who agreed with me.
113. In spite of the cost of living, it's still so popular.
114. In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life. It goes on.
115. Your life is the sum of all your choices.
116. We should give meaning to life, not wait for life to give us meaning.
117. Don't worry that children never listen to you; worry that they are always watching you.
118. One problem with gazing too frequently into the past is that we may turn around to find the future has run out on us.
119. The past is a guidepost, not a hitching post.
120. Love is the condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.
121. The ultimate test of a relationship is to disagree while holding hands.
122. Just because somebody doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.
     
123. Rudeness is the weak man's imitation of strength.
124. Marriage, n. A community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all two.
     
125. Success in marriage does not come merely through finding the right mate, but through being the right mate.
126. Our wedding was many years ago. The celebration continues to this day.
127. The only real mistake is the one from which we learn nothing.
128. Mistakes fail in their mission of helping the person who blames them on the other fellow.
     
129. To bring up a child in the way he should go, travel that way yourself once in a while.
130. To escape criticism - do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.
131. Once you accept the fact that you're not perfect, then you develop some confidence.
     
132. Success seems to be largely a matter of hanging on after others have let go.
133. No one is a firmer believer in the power of prayer than the devil; not that he practices it, but he suffers from it.
     
134. Don't pray when it rains if you don't pray when the sun shines.
135. Judge me all you want, just keep the verdict to yourself.
136. Our thoughts are unseen hands shaping the people we meet. Whatever we truly think them to be, that's what they'll become for us.
137. If only closed minds came with closed mouths.
138. If you mess up, 'fess up.
139. The willingness to accept responsibility for one's own life is the source from which self-respect springs.
140. We have the Bill of Rights. What we need is a Bill of Responsibilities.
141. Take your life in your own hands, and what happens? A terrible thing: no one to blame.
142. When a man points a finger at someone else, he should remember that four of his fingers are pointing at himself.
143. I am always doing that which I cannot do, in order that I may learn how to do it.
144. Progress always involves risks. You can't steal second base and keep your foot on first.
     
145. You'll always miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
146. It is a man's own mind, not his enemy or foe, that lures him to evil ways.
147. What makes resisting temptation difficult for many people is they don't want to discourage it completely.
148. Not using faults does not mean that one does not have them.
     
149. The value of identity of course is that so often with it comes purpose.
150. Quality begins on the inside... and then works its way out.
151. Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self.
152. They cannot take away our self-respect if we do not give it to them.
153. I have no right, by anything I do or say, to demean a human being in his own eyes. What matters is not what I think of him; it is what he thinks of himself. To undermine a man's self-respect is a sin.
154. For women the best aphrodisiacs are words. The G-spot is in the ears. He who looks for it below there is wasting his time.
155. A smile confuses an approaching frown.
156. The robbed that smiles, steals something from the thief.
     
157. You're never fully dressed without a smile.
158. One thousand Americans stop smoking every day - by dying.
159. What does it say that we are living in a world today where lemonade is made from artificial flavors and furniture polish is made from real lemons.
160. Somebody recently figured out that we have 35 million laws to enforce the ten commandments.
161. The easiest way to save face is to keep the lower half shut.
     
162. Blessed is the man who, having nothing to say, abstains from giving evidence of the fact.
     
163. The difference between a smart man and a wise man is that a smart man knows what to say, a wise man knows whether or not to say it.
     
164. Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.
165. Stress is an ignorant state. It believes that everything is an emergency.
166. Stress is an admission of weakness, a cry of defeat to the world.
167. Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.
     
168. Taxes, after all, are dues that we pay for the privileges of membership in an organized society.
169. Did you ever notice that when you put the words "The" and "IRS" together, it spells "THEIRS?"
170. A woman should soften but not weaken a man.
171. No matter how happily a woman may be married, it always pleases her to discover that there is a nice man who wishes that she were not.
172. There are two days in the week about which and upon which I never worry... Yesterday and Tomorrow.
173. Hunting is not a sport. In a sport, both sides should know they're in the game.